Horsefly Hell....
Yes, two separate but equally funny incidents in the last few days have had me warily watching the sky's for these evil blood biting carnivores with wings.

Last Saturday evening, my brothers with their families and my crew and me, headed to Seneca Lake to scout out a place on the lake we have been told we can use to camp on the water for when ever we want. So after we found the wagon trail to the lake (after brother #1 made us turn around, frankly, I lost count how many times) we made a decent, yes decent.... We get to the pull off, I see Sister-in-Law #2 , fly out of their SUV, arms swinging over her head, swatting at whatever is attacking her, SCREAMING " WHAT IS THIS (Censored) JURASSIC PARK?"
"There are (censored) horseflies the size of BATS!"..... couldn't help it, we just all laughed till we were crying at her.... her husband included (bad bad brother, so insensitive)....I think he was laughing the hardest....

Did I mention this camp is on a cliff... Ya, a cliff, stairs to a 5 foot beach, nice dock.... So, smarty pants, Nate... My mom is on 24 hour oxygen and I know she would never be able to make the walk down to the camp so, Nate, pipes up and says" We could put Gram's on a zip line down the hill, when she hits the cliff and goes in the water, she already has her little scuba tank".....He is such a brat and my mom thought it was hysterical... My family is totally demented....

So for the next horsefly incident: Last night I head to Paige's, I have not seen her in a few days and frankly was going through withdrawals.... So she said come over we'll go in the pool and cool off.... Great.... So we are floating around on our noodles.... Next thing I know she is flying out of the water, swinging one of those noodles like a NINJA NOODLE WARRIOR at this kamikaze horsefly... I almost fell off my noodle in awe of the spectacle.... So the Noodle Ninja was born, I have never seen a woman more equipped to Mame, injure and kill with a noodle, I bow my head in honor of knowing such a person with this amazing talent (and frankly after watching her wield her weapon, I'm glad she is on my side) There were a few more attacks, but I felt confident in my friend the Noodle Ninja....

Wednesday, August 26, 2009
I'm in trouble....

I am already a blubbering mess of mama.... I woke up crying... I don't think I can drop her off and drive away....

I want it to be the first day of kindergarten again, not college...

God help me...

Please send Kleenex....



I'd rather die than school shop.....

So this weekend flew by........

Whirlwind of final items to send your child off to college:

1) Rubber boots, but they had to be "cute" rubber boots, after 100 miles we have cute.... and I need new tires.....

2) Just the right bag to carry our new laptop.... that only took 4 stores... and yes, my hand was stuffed in my mouth, to keepeth me quiet..... and I did keep biting myself, just cant keep my trap shut...

3) Push up bras - huh....... I couldn't.... so her Aunt stepped in... and took her for the perfect Male Ogling apparatus....... Reminder: when aunties daughters are of age..... auntie witch will be MORE than happy to help out......

4) A few things that weren't on the list, a pair of the UGLIEST sneakers I have ever seen in my whole life, looks like someone was eating sherbet and threw-up on her feet..... At least I will be able to spot her on campus from 3 miles away....

Then came Nate's school shopping..... Which started out with them fighting over who was going to ride up front.... I almost drove off without them.... When does this stop?????? Who is Nate going to fight with after Wednesday? I will have to get him a blow up doll or something....

For Nate, it was all about if the shirt was tight enough to show off his manly muscles.... Ya, I know but the kid has gotta have dreams.... the jean's couldn't flair out only so many inches from the sides of his shoes.... Boxers have to look good hanging out the back of his jeans, so not just any boxers will do.... Hey, I liked the ones with the rubber ducks on them...Geeze...

So, in one shoe store I headed off by myself (for sanity, self control, so both of them would survive the remainder of the outing) to look at these yummy leather boots.... So I find my size and Nate comes around the corner and says: Mom, on normal people those boots should come up to their calves, on you they go to your knees, YOU LOOK LIKE A PIRATE.....

Moments like that: I am sorry he came out..... so the boots went back on the shelf..... Evil spawn....

I hate school shopping....